Going back to the very beginning..........

As the ultrasound tech went to speak the words"its a girl" I  interrupt just knowing in my heart from the beginning... "its my girl Marilyn  Faith." I would dream of a beautiful little girl so angelic and precious, her name came to me with very little thought.  I began buying pink before a ultrasound would even confirm its a girl. I am not a mother that desired so much to have a little girl for the 1st time...she was going to be my 4th little girl, my 5th baby! But when the ultra sound tech confirmed what my heart new, It was a instant love, and bond far greater then I can find words too describe, I knew just who I was loving, I had such BIG dreams for her already...she had a name, and beautiful face that I could vision.I wasn't the only thrilled one, so was daddy and all her soon to be big sisters, and big brother. At 4months pregnant Each day became the anxious wait to hold and kiss our sweet dear baby Marilyn,my biggest thought was "I just want her to be here, to hold her to love her and adore her" ........I visioned just what its always been, a long day of labor and a vaginal birth to then be holding a beautiful healthy precious life!Spend the mandated 24 hours in the hospital and  then going home to began living our life as a bigger, healthy happy  family..............................................
Not this time, the story began to go so different as soon as my 3rd trimester hit.As I sit here and type and think it all out from the beginning the tears fill up in my eyes.....little did I know that our baby's coming into this world would change me as a person,as a mother, and my gratitude for life....forever.

Marilyns true journey began at 28 weeks gestation, and my  life presented me with a hole new reality.
To be continued~

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